Coping With Middle Schoolers

Keep the Peace When Handling a Challenging Child

Does your middle schooler refuse to help with chores? Does he fail to complete school projects? Here are some ways to cope:

Be ready for some give-and-take. Think through what’s most important to you. A clean room or completed homework? Negotiate on things that are less important.
Break large tasks into smaller “chunks.” Your child can be overwhelmed by a messy bedroom or school project that’s “suddenly” due. Encourage him to take steps. “First, clean the floor. Then . . . .” “Do the research tonight. Then . . . .”
Have your child keep a daily “To Do List.” Weekly lists overwhelm. He’ll feel a sense of accomplishment when he draws a line through completed tasks.
Give helpful reminders of appointments and due dates. With all the changes he’s going through, your child can use a little hand-holding.
Parent first, but also be a friend. Don’t needlessly criticize. Support him when he’s right or down.
Reprimand only for the problem at hand. Don’t attack your child’s personality. Don’t bring up past issues.

Source: “10 Tips for Living in Peace with Your Middle-School Child,” American School Counselors Association, http://home.dc.rr.com/raff/parents.htm.