Use Specific Expectations to Motivate Your Middle Schooler

Your child’s best chances for success happen when expectations are clear and specific. That way, she is more likely to know exactly what to do and she is less likely to disappoint you.
Your child may not admit it at this age, but she still wants to please you. Doing so motivates her. Disappointing you discourages her and may cause her to stop trying to learn.

So avoid general statements such as, “You need to do better in school.” Your child is left thinking, “How am I supposed to do that?” Instead, simply tell her. “This quarter, let’s agree that you will work an extra 10 minutes a night on math. And I’ll give you a practice quiz every Thursday. I believe you can do it, and I’m here to support you.”

Source: Don Fontenelle, Ph.D., Keys to Parenting Your Teenager, 2000 (Barron’s Educational Series, Inc., 250 Wireless Boulevard, Hauppauge, NY 11788, 1-800-645-3476), ISBN: 0-7641-1290-2, paperback, 215 pp., $7.95.
(Reprinted with permission from the April 2004 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2004 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc.)