Peer pressure can often be more positive than negative

Peer pressure has a bad name. Parents worry that their children may engage in dangerous behavior, such as drinking and doing drugs, all in the name of “fitting in.”

Of course negative peer pressure exists. And it’s important for parents to help children learn to fight it. But another kind of peer pressure—the positive kind—can have many benefits for your child.

Here are some things your child can gain from “positive peer pressure.”

• Responsible behavior. Not all middle schoolers spend weekends getting into trouble. Many spend time doing things with their families, playing sports, babysitting, engaging in hobbies or reading. A typical weekend for your child’s friends will probably become a typical weekend for your child, too.
• Self-esteem. Many of the things children do because of peer pressure are not harmful. They may all like a certain hairdo or the latest pop band. Being like other kids makes them feel they belong—and that is a very important feeling to a middle school child.
• Connection to school. Children don’t always fall in with the “wrong crowd.” Very often they fall in with the “right crowd”—one that cares about schoolwork, participates in activities, and tries to succeed. Such friends can motivate your child.

Reprinted with permission from the January 2005 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2004 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Susan Panzarine, “The Value of Peer Pressure,” Scholastic.com, www.scholastic.com/schoolage/middleschool/development/ms_valpeerpress.htm.